Friday, February 12, 2010

Tigers and such and lack thereof

When I wrote the last time on this blog, I remember a wooly mammoth walking by my window. We don’t see too many of them these days. I think it’s been a long time since I wrote.

By the way mammoths were not really mammoth size wise. They were smaller than the current day elephants which don’t pass by the windows. I don’t know if any one actually harvested wool from the wooly parts of the mammoth but I am surely amused by the genius in calling a cute little (little compared to elephants which don’t walk by the windows) thing as ‘wooly’ mammoth. Some would point out a lurking greed in the act; I say it’s an inspired imagination.

When I enquired about why these elephants are not walking by, I found that they have been really busy in hauling logs, going to safaris, blessing people in temples and jingling those thick iron chains tied to their feet. Someone told me that they are actually trying to break free, but I think that the jingling of those chains is rather amusing. They, of course, do all of this when they are not supplying ivory. Busy folks these elephants are, I can tell you.

If you thought elephants were big, I recommend a view of the big ugly whales. At least you will be accurate when you tell your kids about them. I recommend that you go see them fast. These days these guys are doing nothing much of use but dying. Just as well. They have lots of fat and take too much space anyways.

To top it, these whales eat too much. We are going to need all that food soon. You do need lots of energy to go shopping to those whooping big malls. How far do you think is the time when all the fields and the jungles will be paved? One needs lots of space for the malls and the roads leading to the malls and other industrial hubs.

Killing those big ugly whales seems so good and apt. We can eat their food to enjoy the beautiful creations we make on the space where we are growing food now. It all falls into place.

Coming back to the business of busy elephants; busy in taking people on elephant safaris. Most of these safaris are the attempts of some fools to spot these stupid tigers. These fools go ecstatic if they manage to spot one of these furtive animals. Once in a life time thing all right, but what is the use. The real smart people, anyways, find them easily and kill them.

Hats off to these smart people otherwise known as poachers (and I don’t know why). These guys are doing a great service by eliminating such dangerous animals. Tigers are known to attack the livestock and even the people who live in the protected tiger reserves. I say, raze the jungles and kill the tigers. We need to grow some wheat there before we will need to build a factory on the land and call it a special economic zone.

Thanks to our brave poachers we have 1411 (i.e. one thousand four hundred and eleven) tigers only. But the last leg is left, before we are ridden of such nefarious creature. Given the work done in past, I would give it but a few years.

I just hope one of them passes by my window before they go the way of saber tooth tigers. More about them later.

They say satire is the lowest form of humor, but such is the situation. I have seen a tiger once. And the majestic thing that it is, even after so many years I can remember all details. And now we are looking at the possibility of not having them in a generation or two. Unless we do something about it.


Parag said...

Appreciate your concern for Save our tigers.
About the post, not as interesting/amusing/thought-provoking as the others but does serve the purpose it had i guess.

Pratyush said...

Thanks Parag!
We do our little things in our little ways.

tarana said...

i really wonder the kids of next two generations will ever know what a tiger is?? may be only through picture and films taken nw will let them know that a beautiful creature named Tiger existed in the soil. its high time to think about it

Suruchika said...

hey there,
dont know if u remember one of ur few good-4-nuthin junior colleagues like me :P... but I totally loved the sarcasm for the oh-so-famous causes,1 of them brought into light only after the Aircel ad.. and ofcourse flashing the '1411' only!.. lol.. well..i'd like to update it, its raised to '1418' last month :)(only if the mother of the new 7 cubs survives to raise them :D )

on second thoughts.. its really sad.. I remember sending out mails and related stuff about tigers about 3 yrs back from now to make people aware how support/awareness is needed for the king of Jungle.. but only got responses that either laughed it out as a joke or acknowledged my concern as a mere 'love for animals'.. anyho..for now, how is this awareness helping? people still want to make noisy trips into the jungle in masses and encourage the silly urbanization in the areas due to ever-hunting-for-a-living population in our country..which precisely drives them to become poachers sometimes..who would never in their life think about a tiger or the jungle if they cant feed their children well(coz its d locals who poach for a living). Its our government falling short of staff to protect the habitat and the inhabitants ofcourse, which is freely available and in need of job..but wrong hands reach them first.
Lets blow out China now(after Pak ofcrse!).. coz they are the only country having a Tiger demand-they've wiped their tigers, now slowly ours too..
haha.. ya, m sorry to spam ur blog this way.. but seriously.. I found ur blog..and cudnt read much otherwise..only this u can c I love to speak in favor of Tigers :)

Pratyush said...

@Tarana: That is so true. Like I know dodo by pictures only.
BTW, I have a couple of your pictures, I am wondering what they will pass for. ;-)

Pratyush said...

@Suruchika: Jesus Holy Christ!! Is that really you? And to think that I was talking about you just a couple of days before you commented here.
And that takes care of me not remembering you, doesn't it?
My blog is mostly about making fun of things, but its the people like you who are really concerned about things and actually doing things to help make things better.
Though blowing up the countries to save tigers sounds like a cool idea.
And where the hell are you? drop me a note at beyond[dot]cliche[at]gmail[dot]com.
Thanks for commenting here, and hope you will look back again to find my address here. :-)


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